Grave
by unlikely.amusement
Summary: Roy and Riza are married, and the biggest problem they are facing involves the many deaths of their daughter's various goldfish. Written because my story for 'grave' in my royai 100 was too depressing and I wanted to write a little humor. T for language.


Hello! like it says in the summary, written because my story for 'grave' in my royai 100 themes was too depressing and I wanted to write a little humor. so, I hope you enjoy this.

Disclaimer: I don't own FmA.

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><p><strong>Grave<strong>

"Bye, Bye Swimmie... I'll miss you a lot..." Grace waved limply at her (fourth) deceased goldfish. Roy flushed the toilet (now part-time fish grave), and Swimmie was gone. Fat tears slid down Grace's round cheeks as she sobbed into Riza's pants "It's okay, honey. I'm sure Swimmie is somewhere he can very happy," Riza soothed as she gave her crying six-year-old a hug. "But I thought he was dead?" Roy decided to respond to this one, "When something dies, its body stays here, and its soul goes somewhere better,"_or worse _he thought. Grace seemed satisfied with that answer and turned back to Riza. "Mommy, are we going to get a new fish?"Grace's large, brown eyes where filled with sadness and hope. How the hell where they supposed to resist that? "We'll see. Now, it's your bed time. Tell your father good night and we'll talk about fish tomorrow, okay?"

FIVE DAYS LATER

Roy had gone to the pet store and purchased another goldfish. As he was walking home, fish in hand, he listed off the previous fish in his head; first was Goldie, then Fin, Mr. Shiny-Sides, and last, Swimmie. He looked down at the clear bag in his hand. "You better last," he muttered. As he arrived back at his home, Riza was waiting anxiously. "Did you get the right kind?" Roy gave a fake pout, "What? You don't think I can buy a goldfish? We've had four in the past six months. It's not my fault they've all had to go to the porcelain graveyard," he gestured to the bathroom. Riza held back a smile. "Hush Roy. Lets just put it in the tank before Grace gets back from Rebecca's".

They put fresh water in the glass tank and then the fish. Roy leaned down so he was eye-level with the aquatic creature. He looked at it. It looked at him. The fish swam towards Roy until it hit the side of the tank, never taking its eyes off him. They stared at each other a moment more, until Roy slowly stood up. " There is something not right about that thing. That fish is creepy as hell! It was like it was looking into my soul..."he shivered. Riza looked at the fish(which was still looking at Roy) and raised an eyebrow, "Your scared of a goldfish? I don't think it's creepy," she looked back down at the yellow creature, "though it might be a little...off". At that moment there was a pounding on the door, signaling their daughter's return. Riza left to get the door and returned a moment later with Grace. "Fishie!" she squealed in delight, "I'm going to name you Captain Swims-a-lot! I'm Grace!..." she continued to carry on a conversation with the creep fish until bed time.

THE NEXT DAY

Roy had gotten up early and had decided against waking up Riza. He slowly moved down the stairs and shuffled in to the kitchen. He began to make coffee and as he waited, he began to look around. He soon noticed the fish bowl, and then he noticed that Captain swims-a-lot was not swimming. In fact, he was floating belly-up at the top of the bowl. Dread and panic began to fill his chest as he mumbled,"Oh Shit..."

Riza woke up to find her husband already awake. She smelled coffee and assumed he was downstairs. She got herself out of bed and sleepily walked down the hall. She could hear someone moving around in the kitchen. Drawers being opened and closed quickly, and a hushed masculine whisper. As she walked down the stairs, she realized that this whispering was Roy cursing the universe and some vulgar profanity sprinkled here and there. _Please tell let what ever happened not be that bad._ Riza braced herself and walked into the kitchen. There was Roy, standing over the fish bowl, steak tongs in hand. Riza approached him."What do you think your doing?" Roy let out a frustrated grunt and angrily said, "That creepy bastard was floating upside-down so I'm flipping him back over!" he used the tongs to reach in to the bowl and turned Captain Swims-a-lot right-side up. He released the fish and watched as it slowly turned belly-up again. "Damn," he muttered. He tried it again. And again. Riza couldn't hold back a chuckle at his foolishness. "Roy. I think it's done," she talked around the hand that was covering her grinning mouth. Roy put down the tongs and turned to face her frustrated frown. "What's so funny? Grace will be up soon and when she sees this it will be our second trip to the porcelain grave this week!" The blonde sighed, "There is nothing we can do about it. We'll just have to-" Riza stopped and looked at the stairs. Soft, but quick footsteps where coming closer. Roy stood in front of the fish bowl, his wife next to him. Grace smiled as she walked into the kitchen, " Good morning!" She looked around expectantly, "Where's Captain Swims-a-lot?"

Upon instinct, Roy cleverly responded, "He ran away...?" Riza elbowed him in the ribs. Hard. "_Roy," _she hissed_, "tell her the truth. Now." _Roy nodded slightly with his lips pursed. Grace was staring at them quizzically, her head cocked to the side. Roy gulped, "Grace, honey, your fish died. I came in here and he was dead. Do you want to have a funeral for him?" The young girl's bottom lip quivered and Riza gave her a warm hug. She murmured words of comfort into her daughter's hair as the six-year-old sobbed quietly into her mother's chest.

SOON AFTER THE INCIDENT IN THE KITCHEN

"Bye, Bye Captain Swims-a-lot... I'll miss you..." Grace waved limply at her fifth deceased goldfish. Roy flushed the toilet/porcelain grave, and Captain Swims-a-lot was gone. Fat tears slid down Grace's round cheeks as she sobbed into Riza's pants. Roy turned back to his wife and whispered, _"I hate fish."_

_FIN _

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><p>Get it? Fin? Because it's a story about fish and it also... means... end... Yeah that was really bad wasn't it? Sorry, but I couldn't resist.<p>

Thanks for reading!

Reviews are welcome. (they make me happy)


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